It's about dang time!

It has been 7 months since my last blog post! In my defense, I am pregnant and have had excessive morning sickness! For those of you have not had the pleasure of experiencing morning sickness, let me tell you that I have gained a strong conviction for changing the term to "all-day-every-day-almost-entire-pregnancy sickness. At least, that's what it should be called in my case. 

Anyway, this is going to be a very long blog post. I'm updating this mostly for my sake but I admit it would be a bonus if even one person were to benefit from it. Perhaps I shall begin with something a little personal:

 I cannot begin to explain how "baby hungry" I have been since my twin nephews, Preston and Dallin, were born back in June of 2007. I spent years being their nanny and watching them grow up which was one of the most amazing and incredible lessons of love and service I had experienced. Once Andrew and I got married, my hunger intensified almost to the point of insanity! However, even with my desires battling me constantly, both Andrew and I knew that the timing was not right. Being devout members of our church, we strongly believe in scripture study, prayer, and fasting as being the means whereby we find direction in our lives. Our direction for a year and a half was to not have children. Suffice to say, every time I would hear of a friend or family member announcing that they were pregnant, it would send me into a fit of despair. I really was happy for them but I couldn't help but feel incredibly envious. It was a struggle and I prayed for it to end. I prayed so hard that God would just soften my heart to accept His will for our family. I prayed for patience. I had to actively distract myself because these episodes were too much to handle on top of school and work. I talked to our bishop, I saw a counselor at BYU, and I even deactivated my facebook profile for a while to keep myself sane. The stress was so hard on me that my body began to physically manifest the stress by exhibiting pregnancy symptoms. What was wrong with me? You hear about couples who struggle with infertility issues, miscarriages, stillborn children, real heartbreak, but you never hear about couples who struggle with it "not being the right time." I felt so silly that it affected me so much, however it was what it was and I couldn't control it or contain it. I found solace in only three things: 1) I had a husband who was crazy about me, 2) I found out that we, as a team, were truly determined to follow God's plan for us no matter what and 3) It was more important to me to bring a child to this earth in the right circumstance rather than do it just because I wanted it. Perhaps this sets the stage for how truly excited I was once we both felt it was the right time, and how insanely ecstatic I was once I found out I was pregnant.

The news came to us September 15, 2011. Pregnancy test-taking was already a frequent occurrence so this day really wasn't different from any other day. We had been trying for a few months so I was beginning to get a little discouraged. I had taken some tests only a few days before. Each negative test was chipping away at me. I was home alone while Andrew was at school, and I didn't think it would come up positive. Well, it did. I didn't cry. I just sat on the stairs and let those double lines stare at me for ten minutes. A part of me thought it was a joke or a false positive. I took a picture of it and texted it to Andrew with a caption that said, "I think it's positive..." I started to bawl. I kept saying to myself, "I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. This can't be real. I'm pregnant." Needless to say, I was in shock! Thankfully, the shock wore off in time and I began to get extremely excited.

Here is our 9 week ultrasound picture taken October 19, 2011:

Can you see the head and tiny little body? During this gestational period, he was the size of a grape! It's incredible to think that he is now almost the size of a pineapple! After we saw our little baby for the first time, Andrew and I celebrated by getting a burger at Five Guys. It was only a few short days later that my morning sickness began and it was horrible. I spent most of my time laying in bed and forcing myself to eat. As physically miserable as I was, I still had a million and one reasons to smile every minute because I was finally pregnant! It was so easy to be optimistic because it was a small price to pay for something I had wanted for so long. I should also mention that one of those million and one reasons to smile was due to the fact that my sister, and two of my sister-in-laws were also pregnant (with boys) with due dates close to mine which made it very exciting for me. My sister is also the mother of my twin nephews who I adore with my whole soul and her baby is due only 3 days before mine. What makes this so wonderful is that my twin nephews, being the same age, have been such an incredible addition to our whole family and now it feels like we're adding another wonderful set of boys! :) 

I approached my 18 week mark in December, right before we left for Florida for Christmas. We had an ultrasound where we found out baby was a boy! It was so shocking because I had been told by so many people that I was having a girl because I was so sick! Here is another ultrasound picture from 18 and a half weeks (baby was about the size of a bell pepper):

And here's me workin' it right after the appointment:

During this ultrasound, the technician asked, "Do you want to know  the sex of your baby?" We were both staring at the screen and even before she said that I saw it. I yelled out, "That's a boy!" And she laughed and confirmed my assessment. It was such a shock! We were so excited, though! We were having a little stinky boy! Since we didn't get to see his face, we got to go back for a follow-up ultrasound at 20 weeks (baby was about the length of a banana):

I've seen so many pictures like this and I have always thought they were neat but I got a completely different feeling when I first saw the profile of my son. That's my flesh and blood. My husband and I made that! It's so incredible and bizarre and miraculous and strange and exciting!

Here I am at 27 weeks (along with my husband's artistic photography skills... lol)

And here's Andrew at 27 weeks:

He is silly. :)

And today I am 31 weeks and 2 days! 

This child hasn't been born and yet he has taught me so much already. I cannot wait to meet him.

Anyway, I hope I don't seem to be getting too personal with this post. All I know is that I would have really benefited from something like this.